After a bummer of a day today (January second, the dreary morning after our holiday and my kid’s first day back to school—ugh! why is this so hard for me???), I am resolved to engage in real life again. Take on the new year. Kick it in the pants, no… ok…I’m breathing…Dance with it. Yes. Dance. Though I’m tempted to crawl into bed with my last loaf of holiday stollen cradled in my arms. But. Having savored my stollen moments long enough, I must resist languishing in them (even though my second batch was extra delicious). Sigh. So.
Here is this Everyday Woman’s New Year’s Resolutions…I’m writing them down:
Um. Well. Stalling…I could write a really pretty, sprightly list of ideals and lofty goals—and actually, I did write a bit last night, but having just bungled through a really blue Monday (which pretended to be a Wednesday, though it didn’t fool me), there is a part of me that recoils at the idea of New Year’s Resolutions. A part of me that feels like rolling her eyes (yeah, right). I know myself. I am not an Ideal Woman. I mess up. I live with a multitude of issues. I know that shadows will, inevitably, sooner or later (today was sooner) cast themselves across my path, and though I generally keep moving, sometimes with confidence, sometimes with desperation, I don’t always move smart, or quick. Sometimes I’m in the dark for awhile. Sometimes I lose hope, temporarily. No matter what lofty goals I recite to myself.
Therefore. I think my most important resolution this year will be this one:
In the midst, I will remember.
I will remember being loved, and loving.
I will remember that I have done hard things, and that I can do more.
I will remember that I have done beautiful things, and that I can do more.
I will remember that not giving up is my best strategy of all.
I will remember that it is not all about me.
I will remember that taking counsel from my fears is crippling.
I will remember that contemptuous thoughts and unkind words do a lot of damage.
I will remember the joy of truly seeing another person, and how easy (delicious) it is to love them when I can see them clearly.
I will remember the power of Quiet, the power of Beauty, the power of Love. And I will remember that sharing it feels really good.
The End
